To understand anger, we need to understand stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety are closely linked and are part of the same bodily reactions. And they have similar symptoms. The main difference is that stress is short-term and has an identifiable cause. In contrast, anxiety can linger and seem like nothing is causing it.

We will say something like, "oh, yeah, my friend Pat is an anxious person. Pat is anxious all the time and for no reason."

Anxiety has a reason, and it usually ties back to a time the person was stressed.      

The problem is that the stress event might have been decades ago. It might even have started infancy if a person had parents with disorganized attachment.      

Stress and anxiety come from a please a fear, a place where a person does not feel safe and secure. When we are in this place, our bodies respond in a way designed to help us survive. The most common survival responses are Fight or Flight. And from Fight comes anger.   

Questions to Ask Yourself

What sources of anxiety in your life can you identify?    

Can you tell the difference between being stressed, facing an active threat or being anxious?  

Can you tell if the danger you fear is for the past or the present? 

Previous: Introduction Next: Figth or Flight...